I'm having a very bad day. I'm not sure why exactly I just feel so sad and frustrated and a number of other things. Of course it freaks the kids out because they're not sure what's going on. David keeps saying, "I know how you feel." Does he really? Does he understand what it feels like to not have 15 minutes to myself? To have the main players in my life all need me and make constant demands of my time and energy? Does he understand how it feels to get to the end of the day and just want to sit down in a clean house except that isn't possible? Does he know how that all feels? I just don't think so. I appreciate his trying to though. It's very sweet.
I know that there is a strength for me in the Lord. And I will dip into that. Definitely. It may just take me some time crying it out first. Hopefully I won't do irreparable harm to my children's feelings before I get there!
I really don't know if I have a main issue except that I want to scream really loudly for a long time. And of course all of this makes me feel like a crappy mother and wife. Really crappy.
And do you know what set me off? David ate my new tube of lipgloss. Ate it, people. He was chewing on the roller ball that caps it off. I had one new nice thing and my 3 year old destroyed it. I know that lipgloss isn't a big thing but it's the only nice thing that I have right now.....more tears.
I'm going to quite posting now. I'll post again when my outlook improves.
2 comments:
kate, i think i can honestly say that i know how you feel. taking care of little ones is exhausting...physically (especially when you are growing a new baby inside) and emotionally. someone always needs something and it can feel like we "do everything" all time time. i've been feeling like you have a lot lately. just tired and irritated and just wanting a break. it seems that whenever i get up early to have some time to myself and read, the kids hear me and wake up too. then i am really aggravated and i am like "hey, can't you see i am trying to read my bible, here!". :0 our job is hard....hope you start to feel better soon.
Can we just sit down and all have a pity party together? Today was the pits for me, too. I lost it on the phone and was in tears with mom this morning, and then I lost it with Luke in front of Kris' family and manhandled him. It was embarrassing. It's not even nine yet, but I am ending my day right now. I hope tomorrow is better for both of us.
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