We had a show down at my house yesterday and, surprisingly, it was with Rae. I'm telling you, it was like being in the Wild West in an alley with loaded guns. It was brutal.
Rae threw her food on the floor. She's knows not to do this. It's a standing rule in our house. When told to pick up her corn - she wouldn't. Rae, pick up the corn or you will get a spanking. Another refusal. A spanking. Rae, pick up the corn or you will get a spanking. Another refusal. A spanking. IT went on like this for a good 30 minutes when I just couldn't spank any more. I wasn't trying to hurt her, just give her consequences she can understand.
A word on spanking. I believe in spanking. It works for us (usually) and I'm happy with that decision. Everyone has their opinions. That's okay.
So, after the first 30 minutes of beating my head against the wall, figuratively speaking, I try another tactic. I get her passy, blanket, and a cup of milk and sit them right beside me. By this time she is exhausted and I figure all of her bedtime stuff would be enough to lure her into obedience. WRONG. She fell asleep sitting up crying. IT was pitiful. At that point, I just took her hand, squished it around the corn, brushed it off into the tray and said, "Good girl. Rae was obedient."
Huh. She knows and I know and she knows that I know that she won that round. This was one of the more frustrating moments of parenthood. I've read JAmes Dobson and I recognized this as a moment of establishing turf. Who's the boss here? I got that part. But did I do the right thing? I don't know. If I could go back and re-do? I still don't know. No clue. I feel like a less than adequate mother because I just don't know.
Thankfully, the Lord does. And I will keep asking His opinion and doing the best I know how, however that works out.
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If you haven't already, you need to read To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debbie Pearl. I really, really enjoyed this book and of all the child-rearing books I've read, this is the one that I remember and still use today. It's a short paperback book. The more you are able to train, the less you have to discipline - I truly have experienced this too. This book was a God-send from Shelley and from what I hear, my children are fairly well mannered (wish they showed it at home more often!!)
Do not doubt yourself! You did fine. Rae did not win. She fell asleep, crying in her chair. Something very similar happened with A when she was Rae's age and I thought, "Here we go.." I assumed it was the first of many rounds like that..Well, it wasn't. She can be quite a mess but
You are an awesome mommy. Rae just had a (rather long) moment...that's all.
Love, Me
I miss you, love you and hope that we can catch up soon. You are a fabulous mother!!!
I still wonder every day what I am doing being a mom. I see the worst of me in my kids and the best at times. I am constantly wanting to be in another phase of life with them, but hear all the time that I will miss the stage of life we are in. It's all about surrender to His will and letting Him be Lord, isn't it? Thanks for your encouragement and what you are learning! Good to reconnect!
Thank you for that post! Throwing food is off limits in our house, too, and sometimes when I spank Sam he LAUGHS. Like a deep, belly laugh. I feel like a crazy person, so it's good to see that I'm not alone.
Just got back from lunch w/ the Wesley Directors (they're in town for MStar thing)- Caren told me you're pg w/ #3-- congrats!!!
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