The Wild Wild West

We had a show down at my house yesterday and, surprisingly, it was with Rae. I'm telling you, it was like being in the Wild West in an alley with loaded guns. It was brutal.

Rae threw her food on the floor. She's knows not to do this. It's a standing rule in our house. When told to pick up her corn - she wouldn't. Rae, pick up the corn or you will get a spanking. Another refusal. A spanking. Rae, pick up the corn or you will get a spanking. Another refusal. A spanking. IT went on like this for a good 30 minutes when I just couldn't spank any more. I wasn't trying to hurt her, just give her consequences she can understand.

A word on spanking. I believe in spanking. It works for us (usually) and I'm happy with that decision. Everyone has their opinions. That's okay.

So, after the first 30 minutes of beating my head against the wall, figuratively speaking, I try another tactic. I get her passy, blanket, and a cup of milk and sit them right beside me. By this time she is exhausted and I figure all of her bedtime stuff would be enough to lure her into obedience. WRONG. She fell asleep sitting up crying. IT was pitiful. At that point, I just took her hand, squished it around the corn, brushed it off into the tray and said, "Good girl. Rae was obedient."

Huh. She knows and I know and she knows that I know that she won that round. This was one of the more frustrating moments of parenthood. I've read JAmes Dobson and I recognized this as a moment of establishing turf. Who's the boss here? I got that part. But did I do the right thing? I don't know. If I could go back and re-do? I still don't know. No clue. I feel like a less than adequate mother because I just don't know.

Thankfully, the Lord does. And I will keep asking His opinion and doing the best I know how, however that works out.

Pap Smear

First of all, isn't that the grossest name they could have given that? I mean, it's disgusting. I had my first physical appt. (of many during the pregnancy) with a midwife yesterday where they did the pap smear, pelvic and breast exam. I always hate those. It doesn't matter how many children you've had - they hurt! And they always say, "Now just relax." Yeah right. You are probing me with a foreign object and it feels like it. Sure I can relax, maybe if I were dead or had an epidural or something. I think an epidural is totally warranted for an event like that. Completely. Not over the top at all.

Can I get an amen?

The Things We Take For Granted

Here's a thought about a thing we often take for granted.

Chuck's grandmother moved here from SC into a cute little house within the gates of our retirement community. She is a daily part of our lives and we love that. Today she had a bad day. She is naturally prone to anxiety and melancholy and it sort of took over today. That's okay - it happens.

So here's what I was thinking. Her husband of 50 years died 4 years ago. I wonder if she misses having her hand held. I wonder if she misses the heat of lying next to someone in bed at night. What must it feel like to go four years without that other body that almost seems like part of you? Granted, neither she nor her husband are overly affectionate but still...there are little tiny intimacies of marriage that she would have to long for. I mean, after 50 years it has got to be a difficult transition.

When you are single and have never been married there are things you don't know that you would miss, as I recall from my own single days. I was a lot more content then as opposed to how I think I would feel now if I were suddenly widowed.

Anyway, it's just a thought. Makes me a little sad for her.

Pregnancy and Potty Training

I don't remember being so irritable with either of my earlier pregnancies. I mean, okay a little bit when I was pregnant with Rae but this time the levels are off the charts. It's ridiculous. And I don't like it at all. I hate feeling like my frustrations well up in me and they sometimes feel uncontrollable. It kind of scares me.

On the other front, David wore underwear to Pizza Hut today and stayed dry through the whole meal! We had two "false alarms" in bathroom trips but that's cool. At least we didn't have to take a soggy 3 year old home with us. I'm very pleased. I'm beginning to think we're making progress.

Right now he is refusing to eat his supper. Which would be fine if we didn't have a babysitter coming whom he would undoubtedly tell, "I'm hungry. I didn't eat supper" right as his bedtime drew near.

Rae is already in the bed bless her heart.

Our Newest Addition

So, for the one or two of you who do not already know...We're having another baby! Our due date is November 3 and we had our first ultrasound today. The heart was beating strongly at 158 beats a minute and he was waving his little hands and feet around like crazy. Very fun and very reassuring to hear that everything looks good.

I now have a stomach full of Mexican food. Must nap.

My Long Absence

I have a lot of legitimate excuses about why it has been so long since my last post. The explain alot but I'm not going to waste time with those. I will say this, however, most of my other blog friends, except my newest one, Christy, have been extremely lax as well. So, I don't feel so bad.

We really have had a lot going on and on top of all of it David is going through a testing stage. I'm not sure why but I have the sense that he's testing me. It's like, if we put him in his bed he gets up eight times. I thought we had that lesson worked out already! It's as if he's checking to see if I forgot about it or changed my mind. Sheesh. I'm tired of this stage for real.

Rae cried for Erin yesterday when she left. She reached for her while in my arms. I'm so relieved! Maybe that means her separation anxiety stage is lessening. I certainly hope so. It's too much pressure to be the only one she is happy with. Just too much.

That is all for now. I should have more later this week.