I have a thought/theory that has been rolling around in my head for a while now. Insecure parents make insecure kids. Now I know that there are some insecure parents with confident and secure kids and vice versa but I have some strong memories that make me believe in my theory. And the reason that I am thinking about this is because David is now at the stage where he is playing and interacting with other kids who are old enough to reject him and truthfully that fact makes my stomach turn. Let me explain.
We all want our children to be loved, popular, and perfect. (or something like that) I would be thrilled if David is student body pres. one day or has more friends than you can shake a stick at but when I see other kids ocassionally laugh at him or pick at him (because they are kids and we have to teach them better) or adults become sharp with him when he misbehaves then I want to rip their eyes out! Yikes! And it makes me afraid..... I don't want him to hurt. Skinning a knee is much more preferable than a broken heart, which he will eventually have one day I'm sure. It's life.
Now to the memories. There was a girl in my class at school (yes, I know I was homeschooled but when you live in Camilla everyone your same age was "in my class") whose mama was really serious about her fitting in and not being excluded. Her mama would talk to the school principle and try to have him make the other kids be nice to her. It's been 20 years and I can still remember how it embarassed this girl, made her more of an outcast, and how hurt she and her mother both were by it all. What if her mama had been secure in who she and her daughter both were? What if she had taught her that it's good to have one or two good friends? After all, one steady friend is worth a pile of acquaintances.
I'm just thinking that if I wrap up my own insecurities and fears about acceptance and rejection into my children then they actually suffer for it and then not only are they rejected by peers (which is gonna happen at least a little bit) then they also feel rejected by me because they haven't achieved or done enough.
That's the kind of stuff that carries on with people and continues to make their lives hurt.
I'm not sure if I said it all how I've been thinking about it. I may need to post another time later to get it out right!
If somebody has a better way to say this then let me know.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I think you described the problem clearly. The motivation of the heart is the main issue. I have to remind myself constantly to stop, think, then react. Everyone has insecurities but part of the "raising kids" process is equipping them. Just like any leadership position, you give tools, wisdom, and freedom to succeed or mess up. I'm glad God is putting these things on your heart now! David, Rae, and Micah are so blessed to have a mom like you with a deep heart to love & serve them.
Well said! It's a blessing that the Lord reveals these things to us, which gives us a choice in our mothering.
Who was it? (just kidding...)
I grew up with a fair amount of my own insecurities. But in recognizing that, it's just another thing the Lord has weeded out and I don't see my kids picking up where I left off. Yes, they will have their heart broken...we can only protect them so much from that.
Being secure with who they are in Christ is our goal for our kids.
J
bravo - I want my children never to forget their identity - not in their last name or where they go to school or what color they are or who the world says they should be, but that they are God's chosen, a royal priesthood, sons and daughters of the King who have the power and authority given to them by Jesus Christ! When God is for them, who can be against them - be gone insecurities - your lies have no place here! Their hearts will break, but will not stay broken!
I am usually to running a blog and i really recognize your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your web site and keep checking for new information. online casino
Post a Comment